Thursday, August 13, 2015

Things I learned

Once again.....

1) Just because you are a little tan does not mean you can skip putting on sunscreen. After putting it on the kids, I don't feel like putting it on myself.
Don't be that dumbass. Because you will look like an asshole.

2) If you do participate in Gishwhes, be prepared not to sleep well the night after it ends. You will wake up and you will be thinking that you have an idea for an item and be frantic until you remember that it is over.

3) Don't discover an awesome cupcake baking book that you hid in your closet and then proceed to make said awesome cupcakes and then eat two. Sugar is bad for you, but it is so good that I try to not care.
4) If you put water in the kiddie pool then you should probably not walk away while the hose is turned on. It might fall out of the pool and flood the kitchen. You won't notice it until after there is about an inch of water on your floor. You'll run towards the hose and slip on the water with both feet, crash under the table on your back and just lay there for a second checking to make sure you didn't break your hip. That shit is the reason people die in household accidents.

5) On Saturday when the Christopher Street Day parade was going on, I was thinking to myself that I am so thankful and grateful that I live in a country where being gay is celebrated and not ignored or shunned. Fly your Rainbow!!!
6) This is perfectly acceptable behavior for this scorching hot weather 
that makes me feel like we live at the center of the sun. 

7) I was right! The unicorn mask is hilarious and makes me laugh every time someone puts it on. Best 16 euros I've spent in a while.
8) Don't leave your toddler alone where she has access to a bottle of lotion. 

9) Sleeping with a fan blowing on you as high as it goes is an American thing. The Germans will think you are wack. They can't hang.

10) Seeing tiny infants still makes me go AWWWW......but my uterus says, "Oh, Hell NO"!!!

Talk to you later, 

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