Thursday, August 13, 2015

Things I learned

Once again.....

1) Just because you are a little tan does not mean you can skip putting on sunscreen. After putting it on the kids, I don't feel like putting it on myself.
Don't be that dumbass. Because you will look like an asshole.

2) If you do participate in Gishwhes, be prepared not to sleep well the night after it ends. You will wake up and you will be thinking that you have an idea for an item and be frantic until you remember that it is over.

3) Don't discover an awesome cupcake baking book that you hid in your closet and then proceed to make said awesome cupcakes and then eat two. Sugar is bad for you, but it is so good that I try to not care.
4) If you put water in the kiddie pool then you should probably not walk away while the hose is turned on. It might fall out of the pool and flood the kitchen. You won't notice it until after there is about an inch of water on your floor. You'll run towards the hose and slip on the water with both feet, crash under the table on your back and just lay there for a second checking to make sure you didn't break your hip. That shit is the reason people die in household accidents.

5) On Saturday when the Christopher Street Day parade was going on, I was thinking to myself that I am so thankful and grateful that I live in a country where being gay is celebrated and not ignored or shunned. Fly your Rainbow!!!
6) This is perfectly acceptable behavior for this scorching hot weather 
that makes me feel like we live at the center of the sun. 

7) I was right! The unicorn mask is hilarious and makes me laugh every time someone puts it on. Best 16 euros I've spent in a while.
8) Don't leave your toddler alone where she has access to a bottle of lotion. 

9) Sleeping with a fan blowing on you as high as it goes is an American thing. The Germans will think you are wack. They can't hang.

10) Seeing tiny infants still makes me go AWWWW......but my uterus says, "Oh, Hell NO"!!!

Talk to you later, 

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


So if you know me then you know that I am only happy when my life is crazy, chaotic and busy and that is what it has been the last two weeks.
I was afraid that when Mia was home from Kindergarden for summer break that I would fall into my hole and not leave the couch the whole time.
But I made myself do something everyday and even though it is hotter than hell here I still managed to do stuff.
I started my whole30 with mediocre results but that is my fault I am back on the wagon again and dealing with a sugar loss headache.
Update further down about the diet. I'm an asshole by the way.
I participated in Gishwhes this year and I had a blast. This is a worldwide scavenger hunt that makes you do weird stuff and lets you meet new people while doing weird stuff and it was fun.
It was over on Sunday morning and I was not able to sleep last night because I felt like I could have done one more item and I thought about how I would do it. I guess it's called Gishcrash and everybody had it.

 Have a conspiracy party with suspicious guests
Make a dress out of construction paper taken in front of a hotrod
These were just some of the things I did.

Mia is having fun being at home and she tells me everyday that she isn't going back....ever.
Oh but she is going back she just doesn't know it yet.

It's been so hot here that I don't want to go outside during the day but it's kind of tough to tell a 3 year old that so today we packed up and went to the public pool and wore her little butt out. I also used this opportunity to eat French fries, ice cream and some gummi bears so my diet is going well, thanks for asking.

I will start writing again regularly now that the stuff that I am doing isn't secret anymore like gishwhes and the play.
 Talk to you later,