Thursday, December 31, 2015

Year Review 2015

I have seen quite a few people writing things like "I hope 2016 is better than 2015"! Well I don't feel that way I think that 2015 was a pretty good year with ups and downs and good things along with the bad. One of the biggest highlights this year was my trip to New York for my 40th Birthday, I had so much fun and saw so much I can't even put it into words.
Unfortunately it can't all be good... the car accident that Christopher and Mia were in was terrible but luckily we have a shit-ton of guardian angels that protected them from the worse.
goodbye Mothership we really miss you

Family pictures that we took this Fall were great

Our trip to Bavaria this year was short but fun it is there that I realized that I am in horrible shape because I couldn't make it all the way to the top of the mountain without and oxygen tank

Joshua graduated this year and his uncle John was even there  he started his job in August and he is doing really well with the work part of things but he still dislikes school. No biggie though


Family is always fun when my sister comes to visit.  She is nuts

We went to Brussels this year which was fun and cold and dirty and expensive....
But Ashley and Kyle were great so that made it worth it

We took a girls trip this year with Mom to France for a couple of days

Rehearsals for the play started in March and kept me busy until the premiere in June.

My annual girls trip went to Italy this year and it was a blast I will definitely go back again because I didn't see everything and I would especially like to see the opera in Verona again.

We did 6 different Photo shoots and learned quite a bit like action shots are hard and you will probably look like an idiot
All in all still a good year. 

Talk to you later, 

Monday, November 30, 2015

Tips when looking for a job

I have been actively looking for a job for about 1 month now and inactively for about 1 year, and let me tell you what I have learned about this process:

1. Personnel leasing companies should be illegal; they are absolute leaches and even in Russia they are against the Law, but here in Germany they are allowed to operate and ruin the job market. I have applied for jobs through them several times and I have come to the conclusion that they are basically lying, thieving criminals and they should go to jail.
Not only do they lie about what jobs they have but they also lie about how much you will actually get paid because the rest of the money goes in their pocket. I HATE THOSE LEACHES!!!
2. Make sure you apply to everything that looks even remotely interesting, because after you have applied to 30 jobs you might get 2 invitations to come in and discuss employment—those odds really suck ass. It's worse than the lottery; I'm just saying.

3. If you are unsure about whether or not you can do the job, then call and ask questions before sending your application or resume. I called and spoke to people from almost every job I applied to, and it was always a friendly experience. It also gave me a heads up whether or not the job was right for me.

4. Everybody wants the best and the brightest and the youngest with years of experience. But, they will take you íf you can sell yourself and promise them that your child won't be sick every 5 minutes. However, if your child does get sick, you have grandma, grandpa or the dog to watch said kid. It takes a village; just let them know you have one.

5. Set your hopes high but your standards low.
I'm I'm not
When I first started looking for a job my goals were to only work from 8-4 or even from 7-4 but I have slowly come to understand that nobody gives a crap what I want. My dream work hours would be 7:30-4:30 but I don't see it happening.
6. Don't be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of when you are going into a job interview (unless you are applying for a job as a partner in a law firm; then chances that the person sitting in front of you is just like you and might even be nervous are slim to none). If not, then show no fear.
Be confident but not a cocky dick see what I did there?. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

7. Check out the company before you go to the interview. (Here's another thing about those bastards from the personnel company; they don't tell you who the company is until you have an appointment.) I found out that the company that I was applying to does fracking and while I will not chain myself to a greenpeace boat, I do have a problem with fracking. You ever see a flame shoot out of a faucet? You want to?
8. Make sure you figure out on google maps where the address is from said company and check out nearby parking. I made the mistake of not doing that for the first interview that I went on and walked for 30 minutes in heels. By the time I got there, I had blisters all over and then had to walk back. Now I put my chucks in my purse so that never happens again.

9. Ask yourself what you want to do and why you want to do it. Do you need a job to pay the bills? Will you be okay working in an office or do you like to be in the field? Does it have to fulfill your destiny and give you meaning to live or are you okay with having nice people to work with and not taking your job home at night? Of course, I would love to be creative everyday but I also want to pay my bills and be home on weekends. I have my priorities and those are my family and being able to eat so knowing that helps me when looking.

10. It's always easier to get a job when you already have one. If you want to work for a certain company but they don't yet have the job opening, apply for something else. Most companies give out their jobs as internships, so take the job, wait three months and then start applying for a job inside of the company. I started out as a stocker at 20 hours per week and 3 months later I was a full time stockroom supervisor.

So, these are my tips but feel free to let me know if you have anymore for me.

Talk to you later,

Baking Cookies is a bitch

I have been baking cookies for a long time so you would think that I know what the hell I am doing but unfortunately that is not the case. I have been trying to perfect royal icing and I just can't of course it doesn't help when you decide to do red icing on little gingerbread cookies and it looks like someone stabbed them to death.

I do have the most amazing never fail sugar cookie recipe though that will enable you to make these ugly ass but wonderful tasty cookies yourself in the comfort of your home.

Sugar cookie FKA Murder cookies

225 gr. Butter
200gr sugar
2 eggs
I tsp vanilla extract
400gr. flour
5gr. (1 packet) Baking soda
1tsp salt

Chill for 1 hour
Bake for 5-6 minutes on 350 / 175c or check it every couple of minutes if you live somewhere up high like my sister, her stuff is done twice as fast.

The little brown dudes are made with a cinnamon cookie dough

Little dude cookies

1 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of butter
3 egg yolks
2tbsp milk
2 cups flour
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2tsp salt

Chill for an hour and bake at 350/175 for 10-12 minutes

Good luck


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Dear Julia

 a letter to my younger self

Dear Julia,

Let me just start out by saying that some of the things I am going to tell you are going to suck, but you will be okay; even though the saying is stupid and I wish I didn't have to say this to you, "What doesn't kill you does make you stronger!"

Don't hate your body; it will do some amazing things.

Don't get married till you are in your late 30s because you won't know your worth before that and you will be taken advantage of.

Puberty is going to really suck and you will question your parenting and your sanity EVERY FRICKEN DAY!!!!

Don't be afraid. Whenever you have to make a decision, you should ask yourself what the worst possible outcome of the decision is, and if you can live with that, then there is no reason not to do it.

Like yourself even if you are an asshole sometimes.

Ninety percent of the time tell the truth, and always tell the truth when it is about stupid stuff;  it will save you so much time.

Keep educating yourself, because you will go back to school in your 30s and it will be tough to start all over.

Keep reading. It will help you in everything you do.

Love is not a romantic comedy so stop comparing your boyfriends to the leading men in these dumb-ass movies. There is no such thing as an unattached, millionaire playboy that will give up his ways for you; also if he has that much money, he is either a criminal or it's his daddy's money.

It's okay to like older men but you are going to marry a man only 4 years your senior, so get it out of your system.

Marriage is hard work and there will be times when you don't want it anymore and that's okay. Just keep working at it and don't give up without a fight.

Stop cutting your hair so short you look like an idiot, and for all that is holy: STOP DYING YOUR HAIR RED! YOU LOOK LIKE RONALD MCDONALD'S UGLY SISTER!!!

Don't forget to say, "I love you," but only if you mean it; don't just say it for the hell of it.

Your life will be an adventure, sometimes a boring adventure but an adventure none the less.

Your siblings are your squad so treat them accordingly, even if they constantly tell you that you look like Mom.

Always forgive but never forget. Your mama didn't raise no fool.

Talk to you later,

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Treasures or Trash?

I decided, even though in the last post I said I would never post my thoughts about this book, The fault in our stars but I decided to do it anyway. 

I bought this book a while ago but couldn't bring myself to read it.  I thought it was going to be a book about kids with cancer; it is, in a way, but it is also so, so much more than that.
I think it depends on what age you are when you read this book and what you have been through, because it has so many different messages and so many important things that to grasp. I will have to read it again and again.

The first thing that was astonishing to me was that Augustus is so honest. He isn't shy and he doesn't beat around the bush; he likes Hazel Grace and he tells her that. I read once that one way to live dangerously was to tell the truth all day no matter what. I think that is how Augustus lives.
When I was reading this book and it came time for these kids to open up about their thoughts and tell this support group what they feared, I was expected something sad and dramatic but then came the bombshell that just floored me.

“I fear oblivion,” he said without a moment’s pause. “I fear it like the proverbial blind man who’s afraid of the dark.”    Augustus Waters

This was me. I have felt like this my whole life. When I was a kid I always confused this feeling with my fear of death but now that I am older and I have been confronted with losing someone close to me, I no longer fear death. I fear dying and that no one will remember me and everything I have ever collected or what was important to me will be worthless.
What Augustus said with total honesty and sincereness was what I had been feeling for so long but could never explain. It also explained why I couldn't put into words how sad I was about my Dad being gone and my not having anything of his to remember him by.
My dad always had "little treasures"; that's what he would call all the little trinkets he would save or find with his metal detector; later, when he barely left the house, his cherished his little pens and address labels with his name on them that you get for free. He would place them all around himself on the bar in his kitchen, and every time I was there he would look at them and ask me if I thought they were neat. These little things made him happy and they were nothing compared to the beautiful things that he had owned in his lifetime. When he died and I kept up my end of the bargain of not going to his funeral as promised, I started to obsess about these "little treasures." Where did they go? Did his wife just throw them away? Did she understand how important this was? I kept thinking about how my dad had worked his whole life and this junk was so important to him, and now that he wasn't there to appreciate it, it would probably just land in the trash. Was that his legacy? His kids and a bunch of shit that wasn't worth anything?

I started collecting stories from his friends and our family so I wouldn't just be sad; I wanted to hear about how he impacted other peoples' lives and what they took away from knowing him.  What was left when all we had were stories and memories?

When Hazel Grace replied to Augustus, I felt relief, but of course a feeling I have had my whole life doesn't go away with one paragraph I read in a book, but it did get me to think about things differently.

"I looked over at Augustus Waters, who looked back at me. You could almost see through his eyes they were so blue. “There will come a time,” I said, “when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this”—I gestured encompassingly—“will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.”     Hazel Grace

I had already been thinking about minimizing my things before I read this book, but afterwards I felt suffocated so I slowly got rid of clothes and make-up and anything really that I didn't need. At first, I wanted to sell it but then I just started to give it away or donate it because I wanted it to be gone as soon as possible. I downsized my closet from two floor-to-ceiling shelves to one shelf and a few clothes on my hanging rack.
I still have a ton of stuff but I am slowly getting ahead of it and the suffocating feeling is slowly getting better, but it will still take some time.
I am trying to not hold on to things too much and I am trying to be more aware of what I buy.
Is it important? Do I need it or do I just want it to make me feel better? Is it something that can be used over and over again or am I being cheap even though I know it will end in the trash?
I don't think that I could ever become a minimalist because I do like glitter and glitter isn't really something that you need to survive, so that is a no-go, but I would be happy being able to live clutter free.

I do think that traditions are important so I am trying to remind myself that those are the things that my kids will remember when I am no longer here. Maybe they will continue them and when I come to haunt them, which I totally will, I will check and make sure they are doing it right.

PS: I know my dad's wife kept some of the treasures because she knew how important it was to him, but I don't expect her to keep everything, you eventually have to move on.

Talk to you later

Friday, November 27, 2015

Christmas movies

I love Christmas movies, I don't know why I love them so much but I just do. Here are some of my favorites:
National Lampoon Christmas Vacation

You can't do wrong with this movie it has everything in including a great soundtrack and Chevy Chase in a fur wrap with a Turban and evening gloves.

The Holiday

Besides the fact that this movie is full of beautiful people it's also funny and sweet and the movie score has been one of my favorites for years.

White Christmas

Beautiful costumes and dancing set to the most incredible music, this is the ultimate Christmas movie

Rise of the Guardians

It's adorable and scary and wonderful

The Grinch
Jim Carrey....need I say more?

Nightmare before Christmas
Not everyone loves Tim Burton but if you do then you will love this

Fred Clause
Amazing cast and great music

The family Stone
You will ugly cry but Diane Keaton makes it worth it

The muppets Christmas
The muppets rats are the greatest thing ever......

Bill Murray is a dipshit but soo funny


Will Ferrell in tights gives me nightmares but Oh my god is he hilarious

So what are your favorites?

Talk to you later,

Friday, November 20, 2015

What's up

I would tell you that I'm back but I will probably fall off the Blogging wagon again because that is how I roll now.

I am the mother that tells her teenage kid that he needs to stop eating because I am getting tired of buying ingredients for dinner and him eating them. You are not effing starving!!!!

I am the person that gets so hangry that she eats the paper towel that her sandwich was wrapped in and doesn't even notice it. by the way that was the last paper towel in the house and I ate it so theres that.

I am also the woman that has all Justin Bieber albums because she likes his music and she isn't ashamed of it. okay maybe a little but whatever

I am the girl that thought longer and harder about cutting her hair off then she did about what she wants to do for a living,  In my defense my hair was down my back and now it is shoulder length.

I am the unemployed person that got so confident that I will probably never find a job because I won't take anybody's shit . Unless its a really great job then I will shut my mouth

I am the weirdo that has 3 ukuleles now and can't play any songs by heart except "Like a Virgin".
Probably need to work on that.

I am the German that has the first Christmas tree up in her neighborhood because she needs an infusion of Christmas spirit stat!! I don't have it up yet but I will tonight, maybe.....

I am the emotional schmuck that read "The Fault in our Stars" and then was so inspired that she wrote a whole paper about it that was so full of feels that it makes her uncomfortable even reading it. Nobody will ever read it ever......

I am the 40 year old that gets pimples like she is still in puberty. 
Mother Nature sometimes you can be a real bitch!!

If I am completely honest it's not that I didn't have stuff going on but I wasn't feeling very nice so if I would have wrote it would have been bitchier then I would have liked and you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say then shut the hell up.
Talk to you later,


Friday, October 2, 2015

Goodbye New York

I was awake at 5:30 because I am weird and of course no one else was so I decided to take a bath and wash my hair, paint my toenails and pack my suitcase, at 8:30 I went to knock on my sisters door and she was still asleep. We had decided to check out Grand central station and try to find a cronut which by the way we did not. damn Jim Gaffigan for putting that thought in my sisters head.
Grand central Station is beautiful and even though it is busy it is still efficient and just cool, I love the marble everywhere and it makes me think of something out of a Harry Potter Movie with all the different arches taking you to a neat place. Unfortunately the front was under construction so we couldn't take any pictures of it.
Have I mentioned that all of New York is under construction?

Its hard to see the design on the ceiling but the whole ceiling has a pattern
The library was really busy with Students everywhere places like that always have a really cool vibe and we would have liked to go in but we were on a mission to get to the train station.
And then it was time for the siblings to leave and we had to say goodbye.
Now I am going to tell you how it was even possible that I could go on this trip and spend 5 days in this total nutbag of a city and enjoy that daylights out of myself.
John and Sandy spoiled me rotten and indulged me for 5 days, John had me picked up and drove back to the airport, he paid for our drinks, food and musical tickets. Sandy bought our New York passes and ubers and food. I felt like a kid and I liked it. HAHAHAHAHAHA it's awesome being the baby in the family sometimes. I am so grateful that they took the time to go away with me for my Birthday and make fun of me for 5 days.
Goodbye New York I'll see you again.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

New York Day 4

We took a trip to Hoboken and yes that is really the name of that town. The subway was surprisingly clean and the trip only took like 15 minutes so I can understand people working in the city and living in Hoboken, one of the things that I did like was that it was cozy and normal kind of like it was when I lived in Ohio. It was the first time I thought " I could probably live here".


John told us about this little place that makes really great sandwiches so we took an uber and went there, Fiore's is know for its Mozzarella amongst other things but especially that. 
When we got there we walked in the back and there was an adorable older gentleman making fresh mozzarella and even broke us off a piece to try. It was warm and while I am not a big mozzarella fan I still thought it was really great. 
Afterwards we got sandwiches with roast beef, olive oil, mozzarella cheese and it was really good even though I couldn't eat all of it.
John knows the owner so we sat and talked awhile, the funny thing was everyone I talked to had been to Germany and really liked it so we had that in common it is a family owned business and you can tell because everyone has the same name or variations of it.
It was definitely a highlight of our trip and I can only recommend it if you are looking for a great sandwich.

Because my child is a big cakeboss fan we had to check out the shop and get some souvenirs for her, while I was there I picked up 3 cupcakes and ate them before I left the next day. Red Velvet, Oreo and carrot cake at three a dollars a cupcake I thought that wasn't too bad.

This was the view from the bar in our Hotel, I think I went to that M&M store everyday.
Later that night we went to china town and had dinner at this really tiny little Chinese place that had huge portions that none of us could eat. I also shopped a little while I was at it because they had the same stuff as Times square had at a fraction of the price.
John was afraid we would get mugged but nothing happened one of the things I noticed in New York is that there are Policemen everywhere so its really quite safe.
We saw a little fair on our way so we stopped there and checked it out. It was cute with lights hanging between the buildings and food tents where you could anything your heart desires.
I wanted to stay up really late because it was our last night but everyone was tired so we headed to bed to get an early start the next day.

(I didn't see John till 12 the next day. )

Talk to you later,

Monday, September 28, 2015

New York Day 3

On the third day, we rented bikes and rode through Central Park and almost never stopped so I was a wreck by the time we got through the damn thing. Have I mentioned yet that my brother walks and rides his bike like his ass is on fire? I swear, I could not keep up so I rode standing up, uphill and by the time we took the bikes back I thought my head was going to explode.
We decided to walk to Central Park because taking the bus would have been 45 minutes for a distance that we walked in 15 minutes. Thats how bad traffic is. On the way there I found a store that sells bobble heads and I got my Captain America.



Can you tell I was last?
There were three lanes: joggers, bikes and cars.
The bikes were pretty nice and I rented a basket for 1 dollar to cart all my shit around.


I'm in love with this little man.

Sandy was afraid she would barf on the horse but she didn't. We had so much fun on those. We kept imagining that we were catching ebola on those poles, but so far, nothing.

After we got back, Sandy and I decided to go back to the NBC store and while we were there, some kid came up to us and asked us if we wanted to see Seth Meyers perform his opening bit, where he tests jokes on an audience and sees which ones make the cut. Of course, we went and even though we weren't allowed to take pictures it was really cool to see the stage where they tape Saturday Night Live and to walk the same halls as the SNL guests and stars. There were pictures everywhere on the wall but, like I said, no pictures.
Most of the people in the test audience were tourists from all over the world. Still everybody laughed at the dildo jokes so I guess it doesn't matter where you come from because everyone is a pervert.
That horse ate a hotdog.
NYC Cheesecake
Later that night we went to the Meat Packing district to walk along the Highline but first we had dinner where I had my first spicy Margarita. My brother decided to have several so he was having a good time.



I had a hipster coffee and some hipster tried to sing "Happy Birthday" to me.......I threatened him and he quit.
I also had homemade pie and homemade ice cream. 

Nice Firefighter who let me take a picture with him. Unfortunately, my brother was holding the camera and after a couple of drinks he was distracted and also busy yelling at people.

It was a busy and really fun day.
Talk to you later,