Monday, December 8, 2014

What Woman do to make themselves look good

Some of the things that woman do to look good is just plain crazy.

Eyelashes:

If  you decide that putting on eyelashes is a good idea, then just leave them on no matter how they look because, if you don't, you will have sticky eyes all night and be really agitated and want to rub them.  My friend thought I was tired since I kept closing my eyes, but it was really that they were stuck.  

Spanx:

If you are going to wear Spanx so you feel skinny when you go out, then make sure that they don't squash your innards together so bad that you are afraid to eat and you feel diarrhea coming on all night.
If you then decide to take off the Spanx/torture device, be aware that you will not be able to take it off without a whole lot of grunting and panting and people outside of the bathroom will hear you, since that stupid thing has managed to roll itself together and get stuck underneath your armpits.
I did feel more put together with them on and I didn't have to sit up too straight with them on, but I was so damned miserable -- it's just not worth it.  Besides my friends said I was a bitch when I had them on. 

Heels:

If it is cold outside and if you usually tend to have cold feet, then by all means wear peep toe high heels and have cold feet all night. What is even better is when you wear peep toe booties with socks -- that's really attractive. I'm kidding; that's how I dress my 2 year old. 

Undergarments:

When I was a teenager, my mother used to always tell me that I was going to get a kidney infection, especially in the winter, because I was forever running around half naked.  Now I finally understand and would wear angora tank-tops under lingerie if I could.  I guess some things you don't learn till you get older.

Why do we do these things to ourselves?  I know that the next time I even think about wearing Spanx, I will just have to make sure that I won't be sitting down or eating while I have them on.
I could just suck in my gut all day but that is so much work and I don't feel like it.
 

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