Friday, November 28, 2014

Things that Overwhelm Me

I think one of the hardest things with ADHD is the number of things that overwhelm me, and 99% of them are dumb as hell.

1) Coming home from the Grocery store hungry and having to put the food away first: I usually just shove food everywhere while I am stuffing lunch meat, cheese and a pickle in my mouth at the same time.  I can't wait that long.

2) Realizing that because I never get Doritos I just ate a 1lb of them by myself over the course of 5 days:  If I ever ask anyone for Doritos again, for the love of all that is HOLY, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO ME!!!!!!!
3) Buying ingredients for my Christmas cookies and finding out that this year there are no Hazelnuts because the crops were close to bare: AAAHHH!!!! Now I have to revise my damn recipes.  It's like the debacle last year when I had to grind the nuts myself.  That's it -- I am going to start stockpiling yams and chili in the can because the end is near.

4) Putting up my much as I love it, it's so much work I can't even......

5) Putting away paperwork:  I hate having to go through my bills and putting everything where it belongs. I would rather just leave it there until it isn't relevant anymore and then burn it. I did that once while I was a teenager when I had a paper route.  I eventually just got so freaked out I dumped everything in a field and burned it.  (Of course, I pay the damned bills but the paper that is left over or the notices of stuff I really don't care about but probably should drives me nuts!)

6) After I wash the clothes and fold them I like to leave them in the basket in the basement because putting them away is too much work. Besides, Enya will just mix her dirty clothes with the clean clothes anyway. Digging through the laundry basket to look for my underwear is so much more fun.

7) Trying to figure out what to cook and then buying the stuff: I hate it and if I go to the store without a list I will just buy canned tomatoes and a crate of tangerines.  I am the worst.

8) Getting lost while driving and having to turn down the radio so I can see better:  my son likes to use this opportunity to ask me shit like, "Where do hookers come from?" and "Can I spend the night at my girlfriend's house?" So now, I am not only lost but I am freaking out, too.

9) When I am watching a TV show and I get behind on an episode: I can't just watch two, so I wait and binge-watch 5 episodes. I don't know why, but it overwhelms me to be behind.

10) Being in a crowd: I can't handle it. I think that is also the reason I will never fulfill my dream of being in a flash mob. I would probably just start punching people for getting too close to me and, God forbid, someone should touch me.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014


We took a short little trip this weekend, and it was great to get out of the house and to see something else for a bit. Mia is turning into a great traveler so we didn't even want to rip our hair out towards the end of the trip.
When we drove into Garmisch, I realized that it was a tourist town with one hotel after another, like little soldiers in a row. I really really do not like that at all, but because it was only for two nights, I just let it go. The rooms were cute and the breakfast was good.
We ended up paying 180euros for 2 nights for 4 people with breakfast, so it wasn't bad and definitely worth it.

We got in late Friday night. We ate at this place that was holding a convention of hunters. In Germany, that doesn't mean Camo and Beer; it means a bunch of dudes in leather shorts and little fuzzy hats playing the music of the Alps.
 The next morning we had breakfast and then the girls jumped on the trampoline for a while.


Saturday, we went for coffee at this really great place called Mohr resorts, where the view is absolutely breathtaking. 



I really want to stay a whole weekend here. . . this place is awesome.!
Later on that night, we went to dinner with Bre and Fili, which is why we wanted to go to Garmisch in the first place. 

 No, I don't know what is wrong with my hand -- it has a mind of it's own, I guess. 

One of the things we went to see was this Olympic Ski jump, that looks like an alien landing strip to me. It blows my mind that anyone in their right mind would jump off this thing. I kept saying it looks like, if you jumped off of it you would fly so long until you ended up in someones yard; apparently, those strips are where you land, so what do I know? 
We decided to walk to the the Partnachklamm. But, we never got that far because it was too cold and we got hungry, so we ended up in this tiny little place that led to the 'pastry incident.' 
 This is Fili with his cappuccino chamber pot.

This is a little dessert that Bre ordered and that ended up being mangled by everyone at the table. Mia licked the chocolate syrup off of it and Fili stuck his French fries in it. It was filled with Neapolitan ice cream and whip cream. I actually heard people gasp at the other table when the lady set it in front of us. 
We left shortly after that and slowly made our way towards Munich to visit a friend we hadn't seen in several years. After having coffee and tortellini, we headed home in the car.
All in all, a great time with family and friends.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Trust them? Or not?

When I was 14, I started experimenting with boys and by experimenting I mean  kissing and over the shirt action. I don't know what these boys were rooting for because I didn't get boobs till I bought them at 34.
So, it was about this time that I let some stupid boy give me a gigantic hickey on my neck. I am talking a gargantuan hickey that looked like I got beat up. I knew that my mother was going to go nuts on me so I told her this humongous lie about crashing my bike and getting the handlebars in my neck. She believed me, and to this day, I just think she gave up and said "Whatever."

This weekend I came home and found my oldest child with two big-ass hickeys on his neck. Now, I can't stop staring at them like it is some kind of neon danger sign telling me that my kid is moving around in dangerous territory.
funny gifs
The difference is, that my kid didn't even tell me some whacked story about getting beat up -- he just said, "So."
Excuse me? How am I supposed to work with that? He is wearing these nasty ass bruises like a badge of honor. 
I guess I need to chill and stop staring at them and just try to explain that they are disgusting and that they make me want to slap him upside his fat, pubescent, hormonal head every time I look at them, or just buy him a really big scarf till he passes this phase. 
Puberty will be the death of me.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Things I have learned

This week is a little different; I am going to tell you about the all the things that I learned last night.
A little back story: We went to eat goose, which is a German tradition to have Martinsgans.  Because I have never had goose, I decided this was a great idea and we should definitely do it.
To get to this location you are required to hike through the woods for about 30-45 minutes, depending on how fast you go. During the day this hike is really fun because of the beautiful scenery -- this place is really in the middle of nowhere.

1) I learned that even though it's raining like there is no tomorrow, and I am walking uphill sweating and breathing like a cow, I can still hold a conversation much to my husband's annoyance. He kept making fun of me for sounding like a dying cow. We did see a salamander, which was way cool.

2) I learned that it is a waste of time to do your hair if you are going to be wearing a hood and walking in the rain because afterwards, you will look like an ass with wet hair. There are no words for my face but I do usually look like this.


3) You shouldn't carry a leather purse in the rain. I was told, though, that the constant wetness on the leather would give it a certain patina that would be interesting. (Good one. I don't think so, but nice try.)

4) I don't like goose.

5) If you eat all the chestnuts on your plate, you will be full because chestnuts stuff you like a pigeon eating rice. Then you can't eat the rest of the stuff on your plate.

6) I like to take purposely take pictures with my double chin showing.

7) I know nothing about wine except to say what I like and what I don't like, but that is where my expertise ends. I don't even try to fake it either and try to taste berries or some other shit.
Even if this looks like I didn't like the wine, I did.

8)  I learned that if 16 people who are in various levels of being plowed walk down a hill in almost total darkness while it is still raining, there is a very good chance that somebody is going to fall down, multiple times, and the chance that they will be made fun of is very high, especially if yours truly is there. 
All you can see is frantic flashlights all over the place and I can hear maniacal laughter in the woods. It's Blair Witch Project without the killing.

9) If you think you can sneak off to pee in the woods, there is always someone who points a flashlight on you to find out what you are doing.

10) You can fit three 6 foot people on the back bench of a grand voyager and it's hilarious to see them try to get out the car.

Friday, November 14, 2014


This weekend I went to my friend, Kira's, house and sewed some sweaters and a skirt. They were easy projects that were fun and quick to make, so right up my alley.
I had to go to the doctor with Mia this week and we had to sit and wait for an hour till it was our turn which really pisses me off. Why do I have to make an appointment if I have to wait an hour anyway? Mia was bored and just layed on the floor and read a book. I was only there because Mia has had a wart on her foot for two months and it just won't go away. The doctor told me to let her stay home from kindergarden for two days so I could watch her and make sure she doesn't take her bandage off. Yeah right, that is exactly what I am not going to do. 
I am so happy that she is doing so well in kindergarden.  She even takes her nap there, which means she is awake in the afternoon and I don't have to plan around her nap anymore.
I have had bananas in my freezer for months and today decided to make bread.  I guess I used too much liquid; that stupid thing would not get dry enough to cut so it was like eating a damn sponge. I didn't think I would ever say something was too moist. Wet ass bread! WTF Bananas, get your shit together!

Joshua spent his fall beak with his grandparents in Florida and had a great time there getting spoiled rotten and enjoying the sunshine instead of the rain and cold that we have here.
I went to a Halloween party as a beat up bride with Bob Ross.  The only comments I got about my costume was that my boobs were huge. Mission accomplished!!!!
Mia had her first St. Martin parade and she did really well carrying her little lantern that she made herself. I remember one year when Enya lost interest and dropped hers and I drove over it with the stroller. The only thing that I really don't like is the ugly LED light that they sell now.  It used to be a warm light and now it looks like the inside of a fridge.
I went to the last fleamarket for this year and I made a whopping 30 euros, which was just horrible but I did get a pair of shoes, a vest, and a fur poncho that makes me look like a paraplegic with no neck so it was a good day. 
This has been a pretty slow month with few highs but I know that it will start getting busy with Christmas and New Years coming up. For now I will just enjoy the quiet. 
Talk to you soon,