Monday, October 20, 2014

Things I Learned

It's been slow going lately with nothing really going on except everyday life, but of course, I still learned new things.

1) When you go swimming and you are packing stuff for other people, you will probably forget something for yourself; in my case, it was my underwear. I don't know what it is with underwear and me --  either I have them on backwards, inside out or I just forget them. Julia!!! Get your shit together.

2) The movie, A Million Ways to Die in the West, mostly made me laugh really hard.  It was such an inappropriate movie that I can recommend it if you want to just sit back and not have to think and just laugh your ass off.

3) I like to vacuum and I don't know why;  I will suck up anything that is laying around, including bobby pins, Barbie shoes and and everything else that will fit in the hose except for money. It reminds me of an episode of the reality show Snoop Dogg did, where he realized the most relaxing thing he could do was vacuum his house. It doesn't necessarily relax me but it does make me feel accomplished and that, ladies and gentleman, is what my life has come to.

4) I suck at twitter and I keep going back to it and trying it again and again, but I basically just use it to follow other people. If you are on twitter you can find me under @LandofKraut but I must warn you, it's really boring.  I can't just write short sentences that don't make me sound like a dick or a stalker.

5) When you are typing and you have your laptop in your lap, you probably shouldn't be listening to really good music; it's impossible to hold your legs still and you will type all kinds of weird shit.

6) I hate people who say they married their best friend; that's not true. I love my husband and he is someone I can laugh with like crazy, but I still don't tell him everything. There are some things that I can only tell my best friends and there is nothing off limits or embarrassing. I still care what my husband thinks of me so there is no way I can tell him the really humiliating things I have done.  I can with my friends because they are just as stupid.

7) It is impossible for me to find a middle ground when it comes to cooking. I either buy 100 euros worth of food to make big dinners or I do not go to the grocery store at all and everybody eats grilled cheese and tomato soup. I feel like Mother Hubbard.

8) I still love Snap! I don't care if it shows my age.

9) We are having the mildest fall, with shorts weather, which is kind of scaring me. If Mother Nature has taught me anything, it is that she is mean and she will give you snow till June and torrential downpours till August in exchange for a few nice days in the fall.

10) Jason Beghe has the best slaps known to man. I laugh every time I see him slap a dude in the face on Chicago PD.  I think it is a lost art, slapping somebody in the face, so it is funny and humiliating at the same time.

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