Monday, May 19, 2014

Get a life

I read an article today about a mother who was apologizing to her friends about neglecting them because she had kids. I made that mistake once, and after I had Mia, I almost made that mistake again. This time I had my friends to kick me in the ass and tell me to snap out of it. It's easy to give in to the kids and just sit at home and work around their schedule but then you end up only washing your hair every ten days and wearing Disney shirts all the time because you have now officially let yourself go.

My girlfriends and I had a hard time finding dates to get together because we always had stuff happening, but saying we meet every Wednesday no matter what, has worked like a charm. I don't get my nails done nor do I go tanning, and I get my hair done at home so that saves a lot of money, but I do go out to eat every Wednesday and that is where I splurge.
I sit down and eat without having to cut someone's meat other than my own, and I enjoy every second of it. I times where this is the biggest highlight of my week, to get together and gossip.
I make plans to do grownup stuff and I am booked for weeks in advance but I have a blast and I always have something to look forward to.

The weekends are saved for the kids but even then we do stuff with grown-ups, because I can only sit on a playground by myself for so long before going nuts.
I am lucky that most of my friends have kids. The kids are all ages but it still works because the little ones will run with the bigger kids and the more eyes on a toddler the better.

Just because you have kids does not mean you have to give up everything you ever did so you can be a good mom. You will feel guilty every once in a while, but most moms already feel guilt -- it's how we are wired, so what's a little more guilt?  I feel guilty when I don't go to the playground with Mia everyday because I feel like she is missing out on something or she isn't getting enough fresh air. This  is stupid but it's 'mom guilt'; there's nothing sane about it.

Here is a list to help you tell if it's time to get a life:

If you tell people what your husband is doing but use the term "we", you might need some girlfriends.

If you don't have anything to talk about with your Husband other than what the kids did or what you watched on T.V., it's time for a life.

If you wear Crocs to go anywhere other than the yard (except for my dad), it might be time for a life.

If the only live music you have seen in the last 2 years is your kids' concert in school, it's time for a life.

If you've gained 20 pounds and it's not from having a baby, it might be time for a life where you move your body off the couch.

If your haircut is the same you have had since highschool and you are coming up on your 20 year reunion, it might be time for a change.

If looking at pictures of pretty people makes you jealous instead of inspired, it might be time to change something about your attitude.

Get a hobby, something that makes you excited and energized just thinking about it, whether it is gardening, sewing, playing the ukelele or going to the gym. It doesn't matter what you choose to do, as long as you don't give up everything that used to be you.

Enough with the pep talk.  

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