Friday, February 28, 2014

Sleep deprivation is torture

Have you ever watched a movie where there was a terrorist involved, and the way they would break them down was to not let them sleep? Well I have had that for the last 2 years.  My child has not let me have a decent sleep schedule in 2 years! There have always been stretches when, for 3 nights she has slept like an angel and woken up all cuddly and well-rested, but those are, like I said, not the usual.
I have tried everything:
 - nightlight
- no nightlight
- rocking her
- sleeping in her bed
- sleeping on her floor
- big girl bed
- changed her diet
- letting her sleep half naked
- letting her stay up
- putting her to bed early
- feeding her at night
- giving her a bath
- giving her books in bed
- letting her cry it out
- going to the chiropractor to make sure she didn't have a pinched nerve
- taking her to the doctor to make sure she wasn't sick
- I did the ferber method
- co-sleep
- I have bought about 4 books and read thousands of comments, stories and tips on the Internet about what to do when your child won't sleep.

I have pushed this child around town in the middle of the night for hours, while she was wide awake looking at the stars; I have driven her around so she would fall asleep in the car, only to have her still be awake and clearly enjoying herself.  She has played Polly Pocket and watched Barbie at 3am because nothing else has helped.  At least then I could doze off on the couch.
And after all that and losing my mind several times, and crying because, after 3 days with very little sleep you eventually cry, I have come to realise that what my mother always threatened me with has finally come to pass:  I have a child just like me

I never slept well and I always wanted to be naked.  I was hypersensitive to everything too loud, too quiet, itchy tags in clothes or seams in socks, underwear and everything else that had a seam. I didn't want to be alone and always cried when you left me. I would cry when my mom went to work, when my sister combed my hair, if I didn't get my way or if I had just woken up.  Forget about washing my hair!  You would have thought somebody was trying to kill me.
It sounds to me like I had serious mental issues, but I grew out of it eventually.  I was just a huge pain in the ass and needed to be smacked, but my parents didn't smack me and I won't smack Mia, either.

There are days when I yell at Mia because I am so frustrated that she is tired and cranky and whines all day.  There also days when I just sit on the toilet to gather myself so I don't yell at her, or worse, smack her butt.
I have gotten right in her face and told her that I can't take it anymore and she just cries harder and tries to hug me. Yeah, like that doesn't melt your heart.  I keep telling myself that it's all a phase and that she will eventually grow out of it and I am just going to have to deal . . .  but it's hard.

Crown Braid two different ways


 I don't know why I made that goofy face

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

For Sentimental reasons

No matter what your relationship is to clothes, whether you just wear them so you don't get arrested or you love them and get excited when you buy something new, the fact remains that clothes tell a story.
The outfit you wore the first time you went on a date with your Husband or the jeans that you used to wear when your ass was up where it belonged -- some pieces have more meaning than others but when you look at your clothes and you see a huge pile of memories, it's no wonder you can't throw anything away.
Letting go of jeans that will never fit you again is healthy because those will just make you sad, but holding on to the t-shirt that you wore when you gave birth to your baby, even though it's almost see- through after thousands of cycles in the washing machine, is ok.
I have a few t-shirts that I have a serious attachment to and should my house ever catch on fire, I will definitely take them with me.

My dad was working the German-American Fest and wore these two shirts; they are German beer companies and it probably wasn't appropriate for an 8 year old but I still have them and love them.

My sister didn't have a lot of money but always got everyone in the family a Christmas present and that year she bought me a nightgown/shirt in a bag and I still wear it. It's so threadbare by now but I will never get rid of it because it reminds me of one of the last Christmases when the whole family was together.
June 27th 1997
Chicago, Solider Field
U2 gave a concert and I was there with my son's Dad; it is one of the best memories that I have of him because we had a blast. Walking back to the hotel after seeing the best concert I have ever seen, I was asked by a guy if I had any cigarettes; back then I did so I gave him three and he gave me a 1997 U2 PopMart concert shirt. I don't wear it anymore because I am afraid something will happen to it but getting that shirt was like hitting the lottery. I love it!

I visited my dad in Moss Bluff, Louisiana and while I was there, I painted the kitchen; my step mom gave me a shirt to paint in and I still have it and I wear it whenever I have a project.

Everytime I go through my closet to give away or throw away, I  have a little pile of memories that gets folded neatly and put right back.
Do you have any pieces like that in your closet? Anything that you will never get rid of no matter what? 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Keeping it real

 I made moon sand last week for Mia and while it did make a total mess in my kitchen, it also kept her busy and entertained for quite some time. I used about 8 kg of flour and 1 bottle of oil which cost me about $7.
My friend, Nicole, braided my hair on Friday and after I took it out, I looked like I had a perm. I wish I could braid like that but it's just something I have always sucked at. 

I picked up some Neon glasses for Enya that she has worn nonstop since Friday.  Of course, Mia has to have everything her sister has and she has been wearing her sunglasses in the house -- sometimes even upside down.

Mia has been sick again, this time with bronchitis, so she hasn't been eating or sleeping very well.   This is how I bribe her to eat.

I spent my whole sunday putting together 2 Ikea dressers but after 5 hours a lot of swearing and using the electric screwdriver, I was finally done and ready to decorate.

Mia likes her big girl room and she slept pretty well in it last night.  I am hoping that she will be a better sleeper, but you know what they say about wanting things. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Living in La la Land

I read a lot of books in a lot of different genres but my most favorite the last couple of years is young adult books like The Hunger Games, Twilight, Harry Potter, Vampire Academy, Bloodlines, etc...
My husband makes fun of me for reading these books because (I assume) he thinks I am missing my teenage years or feel old but that is not the reason I read these books; I read them because they are easy and a total distraction from real life as I know it at 38.
I want to read about stuff that is not going to happen in real life and would be really scary if it did, like an Edward stalking me and watching me 24/7 or werewolfs that don't get older.
When I was younger I used to read a shit ton of Harlequin romance stories and would, of course, expect my relationships to be just like that.
The guy always had money and was fricken' gorgeous!
The women were always virgins and the first time was like fireworks on the 4th of July.
I wanted that really bad but, of course, that isn't real life and it never happens like that, which is what my boyfriend at the time pointed out to me very loudly several times. ( Hi Joe)
They always got married after a few months and lived happily ever after.
Dude looks like a lady

I read a Nicholas Sparks book once and I hated it so much I threw it in the trash. I don't need some douchy guy telling me a horrible tragic story that never ever has a happy ending; his books are always tragic, as if I need that shit in my life.

When I read these stories I don't have to think about my teenager, who is a total jerk right now thanks to raging hormones that trick him into thinking he knows everything better then his parents, or a cranky two year old with a cold who cries all night unless we are watching Barbie at three in the morning. 

A little distraction from real life is good sometimes, but then it has to be totally different and ridiculous to take your mind off of things. 
I want to sit in the movies and stuff my face with junkfood and totally dive into someone else's imagination, and if it's a movie like Avatar, then even better. 

Alright, I am off to watch Barbie the Popstar for the 10,017 time and not enjoy it, especially that annoying ass music, but at least Princess Petunia is happy.

Majorca Almond Cake

Last weekend I was invited to a friend's house for cake and coffee and she had made an amazing cake that had no flour or butter in it but it did have a crapload of sugar, but it's still gluten free so whatever.

- 6 Eggs
- Grated lemon peel from an organic lemon
- 200gr. ground almonds
- 250gr. powdered sugar
- 1 vanilla bean scraped
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- ground almonds for the cake form

Separate the eggs and beat the egg whites till stiff in a separate container
mix sugar with vanilla, cinnamon, lemon peel, nuts and beat it till creamy
carefully add the egg whites and pour in to cake pan
bake at 350F/175C for 45 minutes make sure to cover it the first twenty minutes so it doesn't get too dark.
Dust with powdered sugar before serving

PS: The cake will be flat so don't worry; if its flat you are doing everything right.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Princess Petunia turns 2

This Sunday was Mia's 2nd Birthday which was also Groundhog Day. That didn't matter to Mia. We went to a place called "Mannkidu" which is an indoor playground.  She had a blast playing with all the kids and running around without having to be careful because everything is padded. She jumped on the trampoline and slid down the slide 20 times or more and just ran all day.


This picture you see here is the only picture there is of me and my daughter on her birthday because no one in my family ever thinks to take a picture of me. I catch a lot of shit because I always have my phone in my hand but I also capture 99% of the memories in this family of mine. I am always taking videos, pictures or blogging because this is the way I remember my best and most happy moments.
I will continue to take pictures like a crazy woman and maybe just invest in a timer so I am finally in some of them.