Friday, January 31, 2014

How to act in public

I have been known to act like a dick in public and to be loud and obnoxious, but then I grew up and stopped drinking until I barfed and I learned how to act in public. Last night I witnessed, not just one and not just two people acting like total assholes, but a whole concert arena full of dipshits and douche-bags. So for you people, here is a list of Do's and Dont's
1) If you are in public and you are feeling really lovey dovey and you want to show your partner how much you really dig them today then by all means do that. Hug them, kiss them and hold hands. 
Don't stand there and almost make a damn baby in a crowd full of people; nobody wants to see that shit! What the hell is wrong with you? (especially if you don't know how to kiss--then just stop!)
This is not Ok.
2) If you are hanging with your girls or your Bro's or even the girls with the GBF then by all means have a drink or even two and just enjoy your evening, That is what going out is for. You might get a little tipsy and giggle a lot but that's ok; we have all been there and we totally understand.

Get totally wasted to the point where you are stumbling and acting like a total jackass by crying, laughing really loud, or making a scene with your boyfriend when he tried to hold your hand.

3) If you are hanging out with said friends and you want to comment on the concert and how you love this song, then by all means do it.
Shut your damn cakehole when the damn music everybody paid money to hear, is playing you inconsiderate ass; nobody cares how you feel or what this song reminds you of or who you are currently sleeping with. And, if somebody turns around and tells you in two different languages to shut the eft up, then just do it and don't give the evil eye or act like you didn't understand.

4) Dress the way that makes you feel comfortable
Please pass a damn mirror before you leave the house. Seriously, have you never heard of Pinterest?
Nobody needs to see jammies, sweatpants or your asscrack. If you enter a building, take your damn hat off and pull your damn pants up.
The way you dress shows whether or not you care or like yourself, so if you dress like a slob don't be surprised when people treat you like one.


5) Take pictures at the concert. I know I did.

This is not ok!!!
Not only can you not see anything but somebody else's phone, but it is bright as hell!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

10 Awesome things

This month has had tons of awesome stuff

 1) Mia is hilarious and getting more and more brave. Of course, she is also getting more and more opinionated and not sleeping again, but I am going to go with awesome.

2) I went and saw this guy and it was amazing! The only downside was I really wanted a t-shirt but the ones from Mannheim were ugly so I bought a shirt from Paris.
3) After endless searches we finally found our new car and we got a good deal. This car is humongous; I feel like I'm riding a dinosaur in that thing.
4) I have finished my two weeks of clean eating and I feel really good about myself. I am even starting to lose weight, which is an awesome side effect. The downside is that I don't think I will be eating at any restaurants in the near future because even if I leave out all the foods that I can't eat, there is still so much crap that I don't know about in the food and it does not do my body good. 
5) Mia is moving to the Big Girl Bed tonight because she is almost as long as her crib and doesn't fit comfortably in there anymore.
6) I went to see Ellie Goulding (I already talked about her in another post), but I never said how she was live; she sounds just as good live as she does on cd.  It was amazing!
7) Christopher was gone for two nights and I had Mia, the night owl, in bed with me, which as you can see, meant she didn't go to sleep till eleven pm. 
The downside to this is that she is weird about sleeping and does not have a schedule at all, even though we have tried everything. Right now we have decided that napping is for losers.

8) I applied for a kur which is kind of like going to a health spa but it's paid for by my health insurance and it lasts between 3-6 weeks. I get to take my girls. I am hoping to go to the Ostsee Kurklinik Poel, but we will see.

9) After I have had a drought music-wise, I found quite a few new Albums that I like and have downloaded. 

10) Everybody is healthy and doing well, so no downside there.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Buying when you're sad

Let's talk about impulse buying; it's not something I usually do because I always have something specific in mind and I always buy a complete outfit. If I buy a top, I at least buy accessories to match so I don't end up with a bunch of different stuff in my closet that doesn't match anything. Then there is the emotional buying, the kind where you buy something stupid that you normally wouldn't buy if you weren't upset or just trying to make yourself feel better. That's where the internet really bites you in the ass, because you can buy anything from anywhere at anytime. I have been looking for some brown sandals to wear in the summer; they must have a little heel and be leather so when I found a beautiful pair of sandals I, of course, jumped at the chance, and that was my mistake.

They looked perfect in the picture and even though the heel was higher than I actually wanted, I bought them in a shop called Witchery in flipping Australia!
I paid a lot of money for them, plus 29,99 shipping and 25€ to customs, which I was ok with because 100% leather does cost a little and I'm not cheap when I buy shoes.  But, then I unpacked them and had a rude awakening.
Please ignore the pink sweatpants. I was wearing them when the box came. I know I'm a sexy beast even with sweatpants.
So, I put the shoes on and pranced around, took my picture, bla bla bla and then I saw the thing that really pissed me off so bad I wanted to take the shoes and throw them in the damned trash.
The shoes that I paid through the nose for were MADE IN CHINA!!!
Are you kidding me? If I would have ordered directly from china I would have paid no shipping and about a quarter of what I paid for these damned shoes. 
I am not going to send them back because it woud cost me another $30 for shipping and it would be a huge pain in the ass but I will never do this again. I am staying in the European Union to buy shoes; I think I have definitely learned my lesson. 
And even though I look amazing in them, I will probably break my ankle in them because Karma is a bitch. 
So rules to stick to:
1) Don't buy when you are sad; it won't make you feel better in the long run. 

2) Don't buy from Australia unless you live there because it is a pain in the ass to send anything back.

3) Don't wear pink sweatpants if you plan on taking pictures because everybody will comment on it.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sugar is an a-hole

I decided that 2014 was going to be the year that I took care of myself better than I had in the past and whenever I decide to do something I go for it 110%. Of course, my method has its downsides, like having a shit ton of craft stuff that I will never all use, but for the most part it's good that I jump into stuff because I learn a lot and being a jack of all trades but a master at none doesn't bother me.
I started out the year by making a crapload of doctor appointments to get check ups, and I went to all of them and had blood taken and had creams prescribed. I was supposed to give a stool sample, which resulted in my being constipated for a week. I just can't do it. 
My biggest problem is yeast, and that I look like I am 4 months pregnant whenever I eat starch or anything with flour in it.
After reading a lot on the internet and talking to my Doctor I decided to cut sugar, dairy, wheat and grains from my diet for a month, basically the paleo diet.
So, let me just cut to the chase here and tell you how that is going. 
Holy mother Mary and a little bit of Joseph wtf was I thinking?
No sugar means no coffee at all because I can't drink that shit black. What am I, an animal? 
No sugar means no little pieces of chocolate that help keep me happy when I am sad and want to slap someone. No sugar means not eating the Oreos or grasshoppers in my fridge and then washing it all down with a cold glass of milk. And it also means no Alcohol. Well there goes my well-being, out the window and everybody in my family better wear a helmet and strap themselves in because it is going to be a bitchy ride.
Fast forward to day 3 1/2:
I hate myself because I have had a headache for 3 days and my whole body hurts and all I want to do is sleep. Is this supposed to be good for my health? When do I start feeling healthy and energized? When do I stop wanting to smack my husband in the face when he eats chocolate in front of me?

Ok So it is now day 4 and I not only have kidney problems but I also had a total meltdown that made everybody in the family hate me for 5 minutes. 
I guess it's never a good time to make drastic changes but I thought I was prepared; I checked recipes and bought my coconut oil and extra virgin olive oil and meal planned but then I started to read stuff like Palm sugar and pink Himalayan salt. WTF is that? Can't I use sea salt! And where the hell do I get cage free eggs and grass fed butter? Are you paleo bitches trying to make me lose my mind up in here! No wonder I hate everyone who looks at me funny. Today my friend told me I looked as tired as I did when I had a newborn. 
I have made a decision that weighs heavy on my heart but I had to make it for the good of the family. I will still cut as much sugar out of my diet as possible and no grains, dairy or wheat but I won't go all gung ho at it. I will be nicer to myself while trying to change my eating habits.
But there is no way in hell I am giving a stool sample unless they tie me down and get it themselves; that shit is just plain nasty. 
A girl has to have priorities. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Having cake in Heaven

Today is the first birthday without Dad. We have now had the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and now his Birthday without him. After living in Germany for so long, I became used to only hearing from him on the phone or skype on Holidays and calling him on his Birthday. He always wanted me to come back to the States, but I realized that Life in the States was not for me, but I did like having that option. Dad always used to tell me, "Julia, America never closes." when I was annoyed that I couldn't buy my groceries on Sunday. That was just Dad's way of telling me that I could come home if I wanted and that is the way I understood it. I felt no pressure at all because, even though he would have loved having me there, he was okay with me living my own life.

So even though I am sad today I  hope that Dad is in his own personal heaven surrounded by family and friends who went before of him and he is having a blast. He used to like to party in his younger days, and I am sure he is tearing it up and being totally inappropriate and hilarious. I just hope they don't put mashed potatoes on the table because he tends to get a little sleepy when he is around those.
I love you Dad and miss you everyday.

This is my dad's anthem. I have heard this song so many times while growing up and I sing it myself all the time; it's one of my most fun memories of my dad. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Fantastic Week

Talk about a busy week! I had one highlight after another and it was great. I started out going to Palazzo on Wednesday with Christopher.  Palazzo takes place in a huge tent with a 4 course meal and an amazing show. 

This week I got to snuggle a newborn, which is like my special kind of crack. Ella is a week old and snuggly, sweet and just perfect.

I built Mia her first fort ever, which kind of made her nuts because she kept climbing in and out of it and acting like a total psycho.
On Saturday, we had the Christmas Party/Beginning of New Year Party which was held at a Castle in Weinheim 

We spent Sunday at the animal park, which is one of Mia's favorite places to go. 
This time our visit was a little dangerous because Mia face-planted right in front of the park and was dirty from head to toe; then she got bit by a goat, and I laughed like crazy. 
No Award for me this month. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Welcome to the Future

We had a little party last night just to get together with friends and family and even though it was pretty cold it was still a lot of fun. Instead of talking about it I will just post pictures and let you see for yourself.