Monday, September 2, 2013

what I learned this month

When you have little kids, having nice things is really hard.

Wearing leather leggings is sexy but only till you try to take them off; there is no easy way to take them off with out their taking everything down with them including, hair, your underwear and your dignity till there are twin donuts pooled around your ankles.

I function better with 6 hours of sleep than I do with 8 and definitly better when those hours are in one stretch.

The reason Zebras have stripes is to camouflage themselves in the wilderness. I am not going to elaborate; you will have to look it up yourself -- that is what google is for (and for looking at celebrities without their makeup on).
Everytime I bake I use cinnamon and someone in my family asks me if its christmas.

I am going to decorate my Christmas tree with rainbow colors on a white christmas tree that I haven't bought yet; I am already searching the internet for the perfect tree and decorations and lights.
total cost: probably 200euros and an annoyed husband
being able to have the prettiest Christmas Tree in all of Maudach: Priceless

I like to pick my toe nail polish off my toes in the tub, which looks like a rat chewed my feet when I get out and leaves flakes of red in the tub that probably also go up my private area and give me an infection but I still like to do it.

Sticking a fertilizer stick in a dead plant will not make it come back to life.

I am a mosquito ninja; I just wish I could find a way to put that on my resume.

"I tried to carry the weight of the world but I only have two hands" is my favorite song lyric this month. I think I will make that into a sign.

Dr. Ruth was a scout and a sniper in the war until she got critically injured.

There is such a thing as a cup for women's privates for martial arts and it looks huge. I don't know who has a vagina that big but maybe it's better that I don't know.

I am sure I learned more than this but this is what came to mind; I think next month I will write it down so I remember it better.

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