Tuesday, April 16, 2013

You wanna go where?

Like I have mentioned in posts before, I have a hard time compromising even though it is important and healthy; my inner three year old wants it my way or the highway, which doesn't go over so well with my better half.  But I just think "you knew I was an asshole when you married me."
Every year I have gotten my way when it comes to vacation planning.  We always go to the beach; thats where the kids and I like to go so we can lay out, eat, and cool off in the ocean while we people-watch.

Last year we didn't go on vacation except for a week in Austria, which didn't count because our baby was 2 months old and I was a total wreck the whole time we were there. I guess in a moment of sleep deprived delirium, I told the husband that he could decide where our next vacation could be. What the hell was I thinking??? Of course he is going to screw that up!!! I gave him too much power -- he can't handle it!!!!
So, now I have to spend my precious vacation somewhere in bumfucked cow town on some mountain, picking wildflowers and smelling cow shit the whole time. Because, lo and behold, my husband likes nature.
Why did I marry him again? I knew there was something wrong; he looked to good to be true. Well played, Karma, well played!
I even tried to make a deal by offering one week in the mountains and one week at the beach, but he wouldn't go for it; he just said "NO!!!"  Excuse me? Did I hear "No" come out of your pie-hole? I am not used to such insolence so I tried the silent treatment but that didn't get me anywhere either.
I keep having these visions of me hiking in extreme heat while pushing the stroller uphill both ways with bugs stuck to my face while I am sweating like crazy and the kids are whining because they are thristy because while they forgot their water they did manage to pack thier cellphone in the little teeny tiney backpack.

My imaginary feet hurt just thinking of all the walking he is going to want to do so we can have an adventure. My everyday life is an adventure "You are effing killling me!"
I dont think he has heard of the term 'Happy Wife, Happy Life', even though I drill into his head at least 5 times a week.
But, as the perfect wife that I am, I am going to go on this probably horrible vacation and suffer it in silence and hate very minute of it even if it kills me.
I will treat him like I granted him one wish by going on this vacation and he has to be grateful forever.

Good think my man knows I am full of shit. 

1 comment:

Sandy said...

"The Hills are alive with the sound of music!!!" You can pretend you're one of the von Trapps!

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