Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas Letter

Hi Family, Friends and Strangers,

It’s once again time for the yearly brag letter that you have been waiting for with bated breath.
To start things off, let me tell you that our three angels had a very successful year as always, but I thought I would rub it in a little.
Jean-Pierre won all of his games this year and was named MVP every time. We decided that he should focus more on water polo, seeing as his grown-together toes (web toes?) make him so much faster than everybody else. His hair started to turn green but it is nothing his hairdresser to the stars, Fernando, can't handle. Fernando soon had him looking like the blonde hunk that he is. And no, I am not biased; I am keeping it real.
(In case you read the unfortunate event in the paper regarding the marijuana: Jean Pierre now no longer has Glaucoma.)

This year, Estafania has outgrown her tomboy ways and is now obsessed with wearing dresses and heels. After she sprained her ankle 3 times trying to walk in 6 inch heels, she has finally mastered the art of walking like a lady and refuses to wear anything else, which does make it harder for her to run track, but she is giving it her best.
She has always had a soft heart and decided this year that she wanted to see what it was like to be homeless. After we settled her in her cardboard box downtown, she realized that she would not be able to charge her phone and gave up. However, she still helps out by donating her time to Habitat for Humanity. She is very proud of herself, as are we, that she has managed to help others by building houses. Her supervisor does not let her near the power tools after she almost electrocuted herself, but that is beside the point.

And now to our little Filomina; she is the star of the family and we all adore her very much. Unfortunately, she has not outgrown her love for eating paper and anything wooden, but her therapist said it is only a matter of time.
I am thinking that maybe she will have a future in something artistic seeing as she has such a love for anything made from a tree. But then again, no.
Her hair is starting to grow like crazy and it is as blond as Grace Kelly in her good years. I think she will be a beauty and that will be helpful if she keeps eating paper, which is not a good trait to have.
As for Geraud and I, we are doing well with our business importing gadgets from Thailand, except for a bad case of syphillis Geraud picked up last time he went to check out the business down there. I told him not to eat from those carts on the street but he just doesn't listen.

That is all we have for you here. I can't wait to hear about your mediocre families that are only half as fabulous as mine.

Much love


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