Thursday, November 15, 2012

Mommy Fail

Do you ever have a moment in parenting where you feel like a total failure? Mia is my third baby and she makes me feel like an amateur, like I am dealing with a little alien who was sent to this planet to make me feel like an idiot. I've been having a real hard time getting her to bed and to asleep since she was 4 months old. Our ritual was, I would turn on the fan in the hall so she didn't hear anything, then I would lay her in her bed and she would start crying. I would lay on the floor next to her and put the bottle in her mouth and hold it till she fell asleep, and then I would tip toe out of the room and leave the door cracked with the hall light on and go downstairs. By the time I reached the last stair, I have to head back up to pat her back and put the pacifier in her mouth; now triple that number and that is Mia's sleep ritual -- everyday at nap time and night time! Well, today I put her down, left the door open and the light on, gave her a bottle to hold on her own and walked out and she fell asleep. What?? I feel like a total ass for making her sleep in a semi-dark room, telling everybody to be quiet and laying on the hard, cold floor for hours so the little monster would sleep.
But, do I feel good that she fell asleep without all the torture? Nope, I feel like a failure.
I am sure I will get over it and she will be giving me plenty of moments where I feel like a failure but, of course, there will be many moments where I will feel like the best mom ever.
I just have to keep telling myself that and, the next time she bites me because I wouldn't pick her up, it will make me smile instead of asking myself if I gave birth to "Hannibal Baby".

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