Thursday, March 29, 2012

Trying to keep up....

Do you ever have that feeling that you have all this energy in your head but when it comes to actually doing it, you get overwhelmed and end up taking a nap or watching T.V? No? Well, I have that feeling all the damned time. I have been buying fabric for projects when there's no way in hell I am going to be able to do those projects right now.
Of course, I also didn't know that I was going to have a baby that was going to be fussy 16 hours a day. I thought she would be like the other two and that she would sleep all day, and I would be able to craft and sew and, in between, play with and take care of Mia. I have two kids I have been through the newborn stage with, the sleepless nights, and the rocking to sleep. That was always my favorite part; I was totally going to rock this stage......or so I thought.
Then Mia was born and everything changed. I went from being glad that she is here to being totally stressed out because she wouldn't sleep and because she fussed all day. Sleepless nights and days didn't help much and a few health issues (mine) just topped it all off.
I thought I was doing so well, laying around all day in my jammies with a baby laying on me, not getting depressed and trying to be in a good mood for the rest of the family when "it" happened....I woke up this morning and realized that Mia had slept through the night. I couldn't believe it and neither could the rest of the Family. We had had a night of uninterrupted sleep! Everybody was rested and in a good mood, so I thought "this is going to be a good day of me getting dressed and actually accomplishing something", even though I knew that it was probably a fluke and that tonight she would likely be awake every hour just to finish me off.
But, oh no guess what? Mother Nature is a Biatch. Just when I thought I was doing so good I  got another round of the baby blues. I have been crying all day; I have been crying so much that my family is rolling their eyes and laughing at me. My husband, who is used to me being a total hard ass, is shaking his head at me because I can't stop, and then they proceed to tell me sad stories to make me cry more.
Really? Like I need somebody to make fun of me when I am already feeling like a total dumb ass.
Karma is a real pain in the ass.....ok, I managed to say ass a lot in that paragraph.

This is what I am working with here. I have tried it all and what works today in calming her down might not work tomorrow. Today, it is walking and rocking her with a blanket on her head and patting her butt and then not moving while she sleeps, sprawled over me.
But when I am lucky, I get a big fat reward....

I know some day I will look back and laugh at this and say " That wasn't so bad."
Maybe tomorrow.

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