Friday, March 11, 2011

Forgetting to be Thankful

I realized today that I had forgotten to be thankful. It seems odd to have to realize that but I did. These last three months have been kind of uncertain and unsettling. School did not go as well as I had hoped and I have a feeling that fighting with the School owner is just another lesson that I am supposed to tackle. I worked so hard almost 3 years and to have it be for nothing in the end is a smack in the face.  So sitting at home in my sweats for the last month was not very helpful. I fell into my hole where I want nothing to do with anybody and not have to clean,cook or wash my hair. Yup that is what is called depression. I don’t get it very often but when I do it like a big MONKEY on my back.
So I did what I always do when I feel like crap……wait for it.  I look for people and stories that are worse off then me. I wallow in my misery and berate myself for being so stupid. I read blogs of people that have lost their children and spouses. I read how they managed to find the good in everyday things even though their lives were shattered.  I am always amazed at how people pull through a tragedy like that and still live there lives.
I don’t want to say that this method is the right way to deal with it and I sure as hell don’t want to say that it makes me feel better that I am way luckier then these poor people but it does help me put things back in to perspective.
Like your parents tell you when you were little and didn’t want to eat your vegetables.” Just remember there are starving kids in Africa”. Unlike then I now know what that means. Back then I just thought send them this crap they won’t want to eat it either.
Needless to say I love vegetables now and I lay the guilt trip on my kids too.
So I guess to make a long story short the next time you don’t want to get out of your jammies for a month or wash your hair then indulge your pity party for a little while and then get your head out of your ass and get on with your life dammit.
By the way I just washed my hair thank you very much.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Kleines, KOPF HOCH! Hab ich das richtig verstanden mit der Schule? ICh drücke dich mal und irgendwann gehts auch wieder bergauf! Es ist eine scheiß Zeit gerade aber die wirst du schaffen! Du hast eine tolle Familie zuckersüße Rabauken und das kann dir KEINER mehr nehmen!

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