Friday, January 13, 2017

The new year


The new year has already started out different then the last 5 years because I have no New Year resolutions, no goals really not even to lose weight or work out. Nothing. Me the Queen of good intentions and making things happen is empty.


I had one major goal last year and that was to get a job and I put quite a bit of effort in to that endeavor.  I had several criteria that I wanted in the new job and I had to throw them all over board to even get a job. I started out as a secretary from 8.00-5:00, crappy pay and for the first 3 weeks I would come home and fall asleep by 7:o0 each evening because learning new things and having a different routine really kicked my butt.


After 4 months I got another offer and decided to take it, these hours were from 6:30-2:30pm and so the hours were better and so was the pay but unfortunately after 5 weeks the idea started to unravel and I was told to look for something else because the store would be closing soon.
So again I had to change my outlook and my expectations.
I found something else immediately and started exactly two months after I had started my 2nd job.
So now I have my third job in 6 months and I am tired. I am tired of meeting new coworkers and making a good impression, learning the way things are done "here" and having to reorganize my day.
I sat down at the end of the year to do my yearly recap and I just didn't have it in me to put that much effort into it, of course it doesn't help that I have been sick since the beginning of the year with a cold, flu mash up that is not going away at all.
So now I guess my goal for the next few months is to find a way to bring everything together and make it work so I don't feel like I am forgetting something or slacking in other areas of my life.

I have always believed that it is possible to have it all just not at the same time and right now I need to prioritize what is important.

Watching my shows? Not important

Sleep? Important

clean my house? Pay someone to do it

Cook every night? Not gonna happen anymore but at least 3 times a week


Blog? Maybe once a week


Grocery store? Once a week


Lose my mind? Probably several times a week.



We will see how I do with these short term goals.


Talk to you later


Julia

Friday, December 9, 2016

It takes a village

Everyone goes through tough times , we have all been there, whether it is money problems or health issues eventually Life just slaps you in the face and leaves you stunned, It can't all be sunshine and rainbows all the time.
There are however the REAL crises that we sometimes confronted with and that is when your child is hurt or sick.

One of my closest friends was dealt the mother of all blows by her little girl having a life threatening issue that was really touch and go for awhile but is now slowly getting better.
After the initial phase of utter shock came the overwhelming fear that there was nothing they could do but wait and when I think of her face when she came to that realization it still leaves me breathless.

The reaction from their friends was amazing and has continued to be astounding how many people love this family and want to help. There have been presents, cards, hugs and phone calls, people doing laundry for them and cleaning and cooking, taking care and hanging out with the other kids and just sending healing thoughts.

It was difficult at first for them to accept help because the natural instinct is to say "I'm fine" but once you realize that people that love you want to make your life a little easier then you let it go and let them help and that not only makes you feel better but it gives your friends the feeling that are doing something because there is nothing worse than being helpless. I was talking to her a couple of days ago and she told me that as a family they feel so loved and supported and just lucky to have such good people around them.

We will continue to help and we will be there to hug and help and sometimes just laugh our asses off because when you are as down as they have been the only way is up.





Sunday, October 9, 2016

This is not a drill

I have been thinking a great deal about posting again but I was overthinking it. I quit that shit.
So here goes nothing.

I got a job about 3 months ago and started getting dressed in the morning and putting some makeup on ... like a grownup.
It made me feel better, and for a couple of weeks I was going to bed at 9pm. I was overwhelmed with all the new stuff that was coming at me from all sides. Learning a new schedule and new crap everyday wore my ass out.
After 2 1/2 months I had a rhythm, and I realized that I didn't like my job. So, I started to look for a new one with different hours, a new job that lets me pick up my kid from school and actually be there for her.  As I stated before it is way easier to find a job when you already have a job.

The oldest child turned 18 — here in Germany that is the equivalent  of turning 21 in the states. You can drink alcohol and act a fool and you will get in trouble yourself.
I am not going to lie: It hasn't been easy letting go because, on top of being a total control freak, I am also a total control freak ... wait I said that already. Never mind ... I suck at letting go.


I like having money from a job; sometimes it makes me do weird stuff that makes my husband question my sanity but that's okay. And, no Christopher, I will not send back the rowing machine. When I save us from the zombies by crossing the Rhein in a paddle boat going 90 miles an hour, you will be grateful.

Is it just me or does fall weather make you want to bake? I want to bake cookies, cupcakes and pies and then eat them because now I have a rowing machine.
It is still in the box but as soon as I get it up the stairs, put it together and buy myself a cute rowing outfit, I will rock that medieval torture device.

Last night I went to a wedding, and I wore a pretty dress, and I looked nice....for about 2 hours and then it went to hell.

I got a fat stomach from eating pasta, which in turn made my pantyhose roll down under my stomach; that, of course, accentuated that wonderful feature. When I tried adjusting my pantyhose, I dislodged the blister bandaid I had taped to my food, that then proceeded to travel up my leg inside my pantyhose ... that at that point were trying to strangle my body.
I could never be a celebrity; they have to look immaculate all the time, I couldn't even handle pantyhose.

That's all I got. 
I will talk to you later,

Julia

Friday, May 27, 2016

This is what is up.

 I had a goal this year to blog more because last year I was slowly just running out of things to say that were small talky enough that I could say them to the public. 
And then the well ran dry.
I had quite a few readers but never got much feedback except from my friend Anny (Shout out to Anny, she is the best)  about what people wanted to talk about.  I am not a mind reader, people.
I have quite a few things going on but most are just too personal to write about them here, so I write about them in private and let the words sit there where they can't fester in me anymore.
 So when I travel I will post pictures and that is about it for a while until I get inspired again.

I am contemplating a podcast but that will be in german for woman over 40.  I decided to do it when I woke up one morning and realized that I was smack dab in the middle of a midlife crisis and had pretty much nowhere to go with my feelings of wanting to murder everyone and then eating my feelings.
I talked to my sister who turned 50 this year and my mother that turns 70 this year and they both remembered what it was like to feel like this and just how bad it fucking sucked.
When women go through something like this it is totally different then when men go through it because not only do we have the hormones to deal with all this shit but we also have to think of the kids. We can't just up and leave and get a trophy wife and get a tattoo, we have to take care of shit. I'm not saying that all men up and leave their wife or that some women don't leave their families but in most cases that is what happens.
And there I go again getting off topic.
I want to talk about how marriage is after years of being together.
What is sex like after 20 years?
Do you take care of your body? What does your body look like?
What is a no go as far as clothes you wear?
Do you have kids that are moving out or that need to move out?

I won't be talking alone because that would get boring but I still need to work on the outline and my guest list a little more before I let it loose on the public.
So that is where I am at.

I will see you soon

Julia

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Dubai is fun

We arrived Wednesday night in Dubai to an airport with a waterfall in it. We flew with Emirates which was wonderful and very relaxing and considering this was Mia's first flight and we didn't know how she would do it was great. Mia is a great traveler or we wouldn't travel as much as we do. The first night we just fell in to bed and because I can't sleep in a new place like a little kid I tossed and turned most of the night. The next day we didn't do much besides unpack and go to the pool. We decided later that evening to go to the grocery store and that was enlightening and very very confusing all at the same time. Food is very expensive here because everything is imported here so you have food from all over the world. Afterwards it took us about an hour to get  back home because we couldn't get a Taxi
Today is Sunday which at home would mean that all the stores are closed and you don't do much of anything except in Dubai it is a regular workday, the week here is Sun-Thurs and Friday and Saturday off. 
We decided that we would go to the Mall today which if you have ever heard of this particular mall then you would know that it is the second largest mall in the world with 1200 stores and a crap ton of places to eat. It also has a skating rink, Aquarium and every designer that you can imagine. I was there for about 4 hours today and I bought the kids a pair of flip flops and two pair of shorts for Enya. I couldn't believe how big this place was and how beautiful and clean so that in the end I wasn't able to shop at all because I was overwhelmed.    
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Several things I have noticed are:
There are very tiny people here I am talking skinny and just itty bitty, totally different from home and for sure different than me. People don't care if you are standing at the crosswalk, they will run your ass over if you dare to walk over it like you own it. I'm scared for my life to be honest. I really like it when they call to prayer but that is because I am tourist I think, I have yet to see anybody really stop what they are doing and actually leave to pray. I can't keep my diet here because I am on vacation and I have no self control. Everything is so well kept here and clean that I am afraid to chew gum on the street and it even says on the Metro that you are not allowed to chew gum.
I didn't know what to expect but so far it's been one good experience after another.
The same weekend we got passes to have brunch and hang out at the beach which we did.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Brunch was awesome including the Dessert extravaganza and the weird magician they had going on for the kids.
His pidgeon decided to fly away through the restaraunt during his performance and his assistant had to chase it, it was hilarious but then again with a cocktail package included in the brunch everything was hilarious.  
 
I just figured out how to blog from here so I am a couple of days behind, just ignore it, I am.
Talk to to you later
 
Julia

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Light festival Mannheim Luisenpark


 
They had two of these Instruments that they projected and they both played music, the other one was a saxophone that was about 3 meters high. 

For the last couple of years my favorite park in the World has been having a light festival in the winter and it is gorgeous. They don't put lights up in the whole park but what they have is magical and packed. When we got there the line was about a mile long but we only stood in line for about 10 minutes so it wasn't too bad. The cost to get in is 6 euros for Adults and Mia was free.











 
It was definitely worth it and I will for sure go again next year. 

Talk to you later, 
Julia
PS: If you follow me on Instagram you have probably already seen these but if not you can @juliabiereth

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Regret


Do you know how life is supposed to be?
When you are growing up you are supposed to feel misunderstood by your parents and make them responsible for everything, including their "ruining" your life.
As you get older you realize that it's your job to make sure your life is in order and that you alone are responsible for the dumb shit that you do. You also start to see your parents as real people, which is weird at first.
Then you start having kids and you see what your parents went through having very little sleep and lots of responsibility.
When your kids hit puberty you start to realize that your mom and dad did the best they could with what they had, and you even start to feel ashamed at some of the things that you might have said to them or even did in the past.
Now you hit your 40s; this is the age when you finally accept responsibility for the mistakes you have made and you try to make it up to your parents by saying you are sorry — maybe even telling them where you messed up or that you even, God forbid, made the same mistake as they did years ago.
But what happens when you don't get that chance?
What happens to you when you start to have your epiphanies and your Mom or Dad are no longer there so you can make it up to them?
The feelings don't disappear just because your parents are no longer here; now you have all these feelings and you have nowhere to go with them so you start to feel guilty. To try and make yourself feel better, you try to reason with yourself. You tell yourself that they knew that you loved them and that if you would have had the chance, you would have told them or made it up to them. I'm not going to tell you to run out and tell your parents that you are sorry, because parents can do a real number on you growing up (and some people have parents that are manipulative up until they die). Don't make excuses for shitty parents; that is their cross to bear, not yours.
I am just saying that regret is a nasty feeling, especially when someone dies and takes away your chance of experiencing the natural progression of things. Let's face it: You shouldn't die until you are old and crusty and ready to go.
I have stopped reasoning and I have started to accept that sometimes you don't have time to say you are sorry and you have to find a way to be okay with that.
Maybe the next time you see your mom and dad, just hug them a little bit longer, but not with a pillow over their face because that, my friend, is murder.

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